Returning to An Ex-Partner – Is It Worth Going Back to An Ex?

Perhaps you never want to go back even to Returning to An Ex-Partner a casual acquaintance with your ex, but it’s also quite likely that in your past there was someone with whom until now you think you have unfinished business, or for whom you still have strong feelings.

Are you wondering if it’s worth going back to your ex? The answer is individual, quite complex, and there are many factors to consider before making your final decision!

You won’t find a simple “yes” or “no” answer in this article. Nor will I try to convince you that “an ex is just an ex for some reason” or that you should absolutely give your ex-relationship another chance. Instead, you’ll find information that I hope will help you make the right decision for you.

Back to ex – why do we want to go back to ex?

Research shows that nearly 50% of couples recover within a few months of breaking up, and 15-20% of couples recover even after a long period after breaking up (Morgan A. Cope, Brent A. Mattingly,  Putting me back together by getting back ) together: Post-dissolution self-concept confusion predicts rekindling desire among anxiously attached individuals , SAGE Publications 2013-2020). Does it make sense to come back?

For some couples, yes – some who came back together stayed together. For others, the return can be temporary. The difference between couples – those who stayed with each other and those who decided to break up again – lies in the reasons for the return.

Why do you want your / your ex back? – Returning to An Ex-Partner

First, a few questions for you. Only honest answers count!

  1. Do you want to get your ex because in retrospect you can see that your relationship was unique and you were connected by true love, and you believe that with a different approach you will be able to build a good relationship?
  2. Do you want to get your ex because you are lonely and you have a fear that you will not find anyone else and that you will always be alone? How high do you rate your anxiety?
  3. Are you new to breakup, do you feel a lot of sadness, DilMil you miss your ex-partner and you can’t come to terms with your breakup?

Returning to An Ex-Partner - Is It Worth Going Back to An Ex

If you answered yes to question 2 or 3, it is a good idea to spend some time working through your breakup before making a decision to return – here are some tips on how to recover from the breakup .

Affirmative answers to the second and third questions do not prevent you from considering returning, but it is a good idea to first make sure that you do not make that decision solely on the basis of fear and your natural initial yearning. Having no contact after a breakup is a good way to gain perspective and take care of yourself and your inner self.

5 Steps Workout to a Happy Relationship

Is it possible to return to the ex / ex?

Yes, but it’s best that the reason for getting your ex-partner back is to believe that you really have the potential to build a happy relationship. Of course, potential alone is not a guarantee, but when you give yourself a new chance, you only have potential. If you already know the answers to the questions why you want to come back, now it’s worth analyzing the reason for the breakup.

What was the reason for breaking up with my ex?

When considering the option to go back, you cannot ignore the reasons for your breakup, so answer the following questions honestly:

  • Did you break up because of arguments / misunderstandings that happened between you all the time?
  • Was the reason for ending the relationship because of betrayal / infidelity?
  • Did your relationship fall apart because one or both of you were not ready for the next stage?
  • Or maybe the reason for ending the relationship was a feeling of boredom and distance? (For more on relationship burnout, see Relationship Routine.)

When does going back make sense? – Returning to An Ex-Partner

Understanding the real reason for the break-up is crucial for the return to make sense.

If there has been no relationship readiness on your side in the past, before you take any action, think about what has changed that makes you feel ready? For example, have you managed to heal your emotional inaccessibility during the time when you were not together?

When the cause was disagreement, bad communication, do you know how you want to deal with it on a new hand? What have you improved in your communication? According to John Gottman, more than 69% of conflicts between couples remain unresolved, and what they can work on is how to deal with differences.

If the cause was cheating, are you ready to forgive? Will you be able to trust again?

Going back to the same pattern, without changing yourself, is counting on a miracle. It is worth considering whether you are really giving yourself a real chance for a fresh start. A lot of couples say that they gave each other a chance many times and it didn’t work out. In fact, they never gave themselves a real second chance, they got stuck in the pattern of waiting for a miracle, believing that their relationship would change on its own, thanks to a return to romantic ecstasy!

When is it not worth going back to your ex-partner? – Returning to An Ex-Partner

Are you wondering under what circumstances are returns associated with the greatest risk of failure? I will answer you – when only one side wants to come back and persuades the other!

There are things that can be fixed and there are things that cannot be changed. You cannot change another person by force and you cannot work on yourself for them!

RELATED ARTICLE: We Love Others As They Are or Not At All

You may want to do the work needed to correct your behavior, but it is up to him / her to do the work on your exporter / your exporter. It is worth remembering that we change for ourselves when we want it, and not because someone else expects changes from us.


The decision to return is individual. If, despite working on yourself, you still miss your ex and see a chance for a happy relationship, it’s worth taking up the challenge. Can you experience disappointment again? Yes! Can you build a happy relationship with the next approach? Yes! The decision is yours.

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